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Remember the press conference welcoming Marvin Lewis back as the Cincinnati Bengals’ head coach on Jan. 4? Lewis had finally stood up to the incompetent tyrant known better as owner/president/general manager/asshat Mike Brown, standing firm that he would not return to the team unless major changes were made.

It took serious stones for Lewis to do that. Brown doesn’t like anyone telling him how to run his business. He much prefers screwing it up on his own. But there was Lewis, still Bengals head coach even though he told Brown there needed to be some noticeable differences.

It sounded great. Almost too good to be true.

Because it was.

Here is the true story, and you might want to brace yourself if you’re a fan that was actually expecting the Bengals to start behaving as though they were a good NFL franchise:

  • There are going to be zero major changes. Mike Brown basically lied to everyone’s face at the Lewis press conference. Bob Bratkowski isn't going anywhere as the offensive coordinator. There won’t be an indoor practice facility. Brown thinks there is nothing wrong with his scouting department and plans no adjustments or additions in that regard.
  • In other words, Marvin caved because he realized there wasn’t another job out there for him. He would have struggled to have been a head coach in the NFL anywhere else (and not just in 2011) so he decided to crawl back with his tail between his legs. For a while there, I had newfound respect for Marvin for the way he stood up to Brown and basically said, “I’m not coming back unless X, Y and Z are done.” However, in the end, he got his Steve Miller on and took the money and ran.
  • Oh, and now we know the real story on why Carson Palmer was requesting a trade. It recently came to light that the Bengals approached him about taking a pay-cut (since, you know, he’s the most-overpaid player in the NFL) and Palmer scoffed at the idea. Then, when it became clear to Palmer that no major changes would be made (Lewis’ return coupled by what looks like Brat’s return) Palmer decided to have his agents explore his options. Can’t blame a guy for trying. But this is one of the few instants where I will agree with the Brown family. Palmer should be thankful he’s been paid like one of the elite quarterbacks in the NFL since 2006 … even though he hasn’t played anywhere near to the level of one. He should also be thankful the team brought in his little brother as his caddy/backup QB. So, I’m fully behind the Brown family standing firm here. They've been nothing but good to Palmer. If they can find a great trade for him, fine. But good luck with all that. Other NFL teams know what he is: A mediocre, streaky quarterback who doesn’t have the arm strength or accuracy that he once did. He’s 31 years old and isn’t going to get any better. Does he have a few years left when he could perform somewhat well? Absolutely. But if it happens, it will be in Cincinnati.
  • In the draft, it sounds like the Bengals really like Georgia wide receiver A.J. Green. A lot will depend on what happens with Chad Johnson. (Are we calling him that again even though the reverse-name change isn’t official yet?) If the team decides to part ways with Chad via trade (they could probably get at least a late-round pick for him) then you can bank on Green being the pick. I am a best-player-available guy all the way in the draft, but the Bengals always draft on need in the first round. Then again, when they’re on the clock, Green might be the BPA. Other possibilities will be LSU cornerback Patrick Patterson and Alabama defensive lineman Marcell Dareus (who can play DT or strong-side DE). Defensive tackle Nick Fairley will be the top overall pick of the draft and there’s a good chance DE Da’Quan Bowers will go No. 2 overall. So, that will leave the likes of Green, Patterson and Dareus for the Bengals to choose from.
  • As for those hoping the Bengals trade down in the first round and perhaps pick up an extra second-round pick, don’t forget that you don’t root for a franchise that has any clue what it’s doing. Remember when the New Orleans Saints offered the Bengals a truckload of picks because they wanted Ricky Williams? Mike Brown decided because he was too enamored with Akili Smith, who Cincinnati drafted No. 3 overall. Yes, these are the type of decisions that make Brown the worst general manager/team president in the NFL. Even if a team approached the Bengals with a good trade, look for Brown to turn it down. So, it certainly looks like the Bengals will end up sticking with the No. 4 pick; now it’s just a matter of who it will be. I have been saying Green will be the choice and I’m sticking with that.
  • The Bengals need to slap the franchise tag on cornerback Johnathan Joseph – if the tag still exists when/if the new Collective Bargaining Agreement (that’s “CBA” for all the Antonio Cromartie clones out there) is signed. You can’t let a talented player at a valuable position like that walk just because he’s had a two injury-riddled years out of his five seasons in the league. The Bengals worked for all these years to find two good corners and what do you want to bet they’ll find a way to screw it up?
  • It sounds like the team doesn’t have much interest in re-signing running back Cedric Benson, unless his contract demands come way down. I really don’t see any other team giving Benson big money, so I don’t think this ship has sailed yet in terms of Benson returning to the Queen City. But it sounds like the Bengals are planning to go with Bernard Scott and then a relatively-high draft pick (second or third round). One name that has been mentioned is Mikel Leshore from Illinois. Alabama’s Mark Ingram is another intriguing name, but he’s not likely to slip to the early part of the second round. The Bengals would likely have to trade down in the first round to get Ingram, but once again Brown isn't creative enough to pull off these sort of maneuvers.
  • The team definitely needs to find an impact safety in this draft. Course, it seems like we say that almost every year and they never find one. And considering all the other needs they have, it won’t be shocking if they don’t use an early pick on a safety. They might wait until the fourth or fifth round, unless a really good one falls in their lap in the second or third. I would personally love Tyler Sash who I’ve been touting as a future NFL star since the first time I saw him play at Iowa.
  • The other major need is on the offensive line. Thanks to Andre “The Bust” Smith unfortunately living up to his nickname and then some, the Bengals can’t count on him for anything. They also have issues at left guard (where Nate Livings struggled last year and Evan Mathis is nothing more than a backup) and right tackle (where Smith is supposed to be, but isn’t). There is a chance former fourth-round pick Anthony Collins will step up in 2011 – he showed flashes in 2010 as a third-year player – but you would think he would have proved himself by now if he was ever going to be anything more than a decent backup.
  • Overall, the Bengals have a bevy of question marks as they enter the 2011 offseason. Good thing Brown doesn't feel any major changes are needed. And yes, I understand there is something to be said for continuity since there is a chance of a lockout, but I would take my chances with a new offensive coordinator. Brat has proved he's not the right man for the job. He's been in Cincinnati for a full decade for Christ's sake. What more do you need to see? But he's got a year left on his contract and you know the extremely-cheap Brown wants nothing to do with firing him and then having to still pay him what he was owed. Wouldn't it be nice to have an owner that occasionally sacrified making a buck in order to win? Yes, we all root for the wrong team if that's what we're looking for.